I apologize for the lack of posts recently. I have been super busy with cramming in as many meetings as possible before everyone takes off for the Holidays. But now I am back and hoping to inspire you all with today’s post!
We have all had our buttons pushed at one time or another. The relationship we thought would last forever, but it didn’t. The friendship we thought we could trust, but we couldn’t. The boss we thought would communicate, but wouldn’t. Recently, I too have had my buttons pushed.
All of us have been there, but for some of us, we have been there more times then we would like to admit. When our buttons are pushed, we feel irritated, frustrated, and disappointed. Those feelings, in turn, make us feel all sorts of emotions, like rejection, abandonment, and loss— these sentiments are usually based upon unhealed emotions from the past.
Our emotions are like a thermometer ; they give us instant feedback about whether our environment or companion is good or bad, safe or unsafe, to be engaged with or to be avoided. But they also work within the context of our situation.
When our buttons are pushed, we get triggered, and then we react—and when those reactions are strong, we feel out of control. So when your buttons are pushed and your unhealed emotions get stirred up, what’s basically happening is that your amygdala is being emotionally hijacked.
You usually can’t keep it from happening, but you can control how you respond. You can give voice to your disappointment. Or you can be accepting, and even thankful, that you have a chance to recognize your unhealed emotions and work on them.
Although I am a guy who is more optimistic than most, always with a smile on my face despite the obstacles facing me, even I too have moments where I feel pushed. In those moments, I try to be my own salvation and get myself out of the negative feelings. I have written and tried to share that process with you here in hopes that it may help you during those sometimes tough moments. This is how I respond in these situations:
Recognize the past in the present: A triggering experience draws you back into your past of old unhealed feelings. If you take some time to reflect on those past events from your current perspective, it can help you understand what was happening then and why it may still be affecting you now.
Have a choice: As we’ve discussed, our brains are wired to respond immediately, but we still have choices. Whether and how to engage is entirely up to you, with practice, you can teach yourself to slow down your reaction time, giving yourself more room to make the best decision.
Life itself is a test: We are constantly being tested by trying circumstances, difficult people, and problems not necessarily of our own making. Our mission is to work on forgiving ourselves and others because life has a way of constantly testing us, teaching us, encouraging us to develop.
We all experience circumstances that push our buttons and trigger our feelings. But if we can turn those events into opportunities for growth and development, they can actually be helpful to us. Life gives us all the kinds of opportunities to be better, know better, and think better, sometimes on a daily basis. Our toughest challenges are also our greatest opportunities, so lets look beyond our immediate feelings because they are handing us an opportunity for improvement and ultimately growth.